cover image BLACK EYE: Escaping a Marriage, Writing a Life

BLACK EYE: Escaping a Marriage, Writing a Life

Judith Strasser, . . Univ. of Wisconsin, $26.95 (350pp) ISBN 978-0-299-19930-2

Poet Strasser came of age in the 1960s, part of a generation of women with strong anti-establishment political convictions but still dreaming of marrying Prince Charming and living happily ever after. Although this memoir is meant to be the story of the end of her marriage and the release of her poet's voice, it is mostly the former: an agonizing account of her life with an alcoholic, abusive, insecure, manipulative husband. She begins and ends with the black eye he gave her, moving backward and forward through her life history in a series of diary entries about incidents with her husband, mingled with stories of her parents, her mother-in-law, her children, her therapist and her friends. She is aware of how "tedious" this tale of staying "in a relationship that is obviously abusive, obviously past time to end" may seem, but she's compelled to rethink and relive it, battle by battle. Why? At one level, she recognizes her story is typical—most abused women go through a long struggle to free themselves from their abusers—and by writing it out, she may give other women strength. But she has a personal need, too; as she admits, "I still don't really get it." And it's Strasser's lingering doubt that keeps readers hooked. They have more than enough evidence of how impossible this relationship has become, but they're also aware of Strasser's "diffidence," her willingness to defer to an assertive person. They know, from the first page, that she left this man some 17 years earlier, but somehow they end up worrying that this time through the story, she just might change her mind and stay. (Mar.)