THE SOUL BENEATH THE SKIN: The Unseen Hearts and Habits of Gay Men

Gay men are mindlessly hypersexual, unethically promiscuous and ceaselessly narcissistic—or so the worst stereotypes would have it. Rather than refute these charges by painting a portrait of male homosexuals as just like heterosexuals (except for one small detail), Nimmons, president of New York's Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center, radically reinterprets gay sexuality, intimate relationships and self-image. Using a wide range of scientific surveys, anthropological studies, philosophical inquiries and personal observation and anecdotes, Nimmons argues that gay male culture is arranged around highly ethical behaviors that value the needs and health of both the individual and the community. These values, he argues, are enacted through a wide range of sexual practices and unconventional couplings (from one-hour tricks to open long-term relationships), and are manifested in the community-building that has accompanied the AIDS epidemic, as well as the broad range of mentoring relationships between gay men. Noting that "gay relationships are distinct from heterosexual relationships in that they are frequently based on expectations of equality, reciprocity, and autonomy," Nimmons also examines how gay men's relationships with women could present a model for heterosexual men as well. While "the bitchy queen and her cousin once removed, cynicism" are endemic to some realms of gay culture, Nimmons is careful to place these effects in a context of socially generated self-hating. The book is at its best, and most challenging, when Nimmons makes his case with statistical data—his survey of the lack of violence in gay male public spaces and relationships (as opposed to heterosexual male spaces) is a model of social science—but these segments dovetail nicely with his original and powerful sociological and philosophical arguments. (May)

Forecast:As the media continue to sift American culture for its strengths in the aftermath of September 11, this book may be picked up by some reviewers and pundits, as it locates the kind of mutual recognition and support that could be celebrated as resulting from democratic values. The NYLGCSC is a high-profile organization in New York; look for a push via NPR and other outlets.