cover image SECRETS YOU KEEP FROM YOURSELF: How to Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness

SECRETS YOU KEEP FROM YOURSELF: How to Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness

Dan Neuharth, . . St. Martin's, $24.95 (304pp) ISBN 978-0-312-31247-3

Neuharth, a marriage and family therapist, brings the same mixture of practical suggestions and sympathetic understanding in this new guide to avoiding self-defeating actions as he did to his If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World . (The earlier book resulted in Oprah , Good Morning America and CNN Talkback Live! appearances.) In order to change behavior that has undermined personal happiness, Neuharth argues that it is essential to recognize that one is one's own source of this unhealthy conduct, that one has the power to alter it and that denial usually prevents one from taking productive action. Denial, Neuharth finds, frequently stems from inappropriate fear that taking any action may have too great an emotional cost. In an especially useful chapter, he shows how most fears reflect concerns about self-worth or worries about a dreaded experience such as public speaking. He offers a number of self-tests and sensible techniques for becoming more self-aware and overcoming fears, illustrated by numerous case studies. In addition, Neuharth helps readers identify their deepest hopes and desires along with the means for achievement. A clear, apostrophic style ("You've done this thousands of times in your life") and user-friendly organization further add to this above-average manual for maximizing personal happiness. (Mar.)