This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It

Cracked.com editor Jason Pargin's alter ego Wong returns with a sequel to the cult classic John Dies at the End. The 25-year-old John is very much alive in this book, less drunk than last we saw him (though not for lack of trying), and joined by David's loyal dog, Molly, and his freckle-faced, one-handed fianc%C3%A9e, Amy. Together they battle an infestation of spider-like monsters that lodge themselves in their victim's mouths, take control of their bodies, and wreak havoc on the town of "Undisclosed." Not all the monsters are as easy to spot as the "shambling meat" marauders, such as the man-shaped monster with skewered turkey appendages or the anus-gouging ground-tunneler they call Carlos. Shadow men appear, John hits the "Soy Sauce," his dangerous drug of choice, and even the government quarantine team led by David's court-ordered therapist might pose more of a threat than the zombie contagion (as infected humans prey on people, and can survive massive traumas, the group decides that "zombie" is the best term). This phantasmagoria of horror, humor%E2%80%94and even insight into the nature of paranoia, perception, and identity%E2%80%94heralds the film adaptation of its predecessor; directed by Bubba Ho-Tep and Phantasm auteur Don Coscarelli, it premiered at the 2012 Sundance Film Festival. Agent: Scott Miller, Trident Media Group. (Oct.)