cover image CLEARANCES: A Memoir

CLEARANCES: A Memoir

Mairi MacInnes, . . Pantheon, $24 (288pp) ISBN 978-0-375-42068-9

The dilemma that English poet and novelist MacInnes expresses in this ardent memoir is a familiar one: Can a writer fulfill her creative potential while simultaneously serving as a mother and the wife of a demanding man? In this case, the circumstances will have resonance for many women. MacInnes was already a published poet when, after a series of unhappy affairs, she married John McCormick, a newly divorced American who later achieved a distinguished career as a literature professor, scholar and critic. He turned out to be a monumentally inconsiderate spouse, subject to irritability, depression and feckless behavior. "I'm not going to stay home and rot," was his mantra when MacInnes remonstrated about their peripatetic and money-starved existence, his obsessive attempts to practice bullfighting, his frequent long absences on cushy grants and his habit of leaving her and the children stranded in remote houses while he enjoyed career- and ego-fueling adventures. With the benefit of hindsight, MacInnes berates herself for not rebelling and demanding the freedom and leisure required for creative independence. She doesn't disguise her resentment, and by the time she states "it is better for a mother not to struggle to write poetry irrespective of her talent," readers may find themselves as frustrated as she was. Now in her 70s, MacInnes has finally found time for her work, and she stresses her husband's "loving-kindness in later years." But this lucid and candid account is valuable precisely because she never glosses over the inequality of their marital contract. "I liberated him," she says, "but he didn't liberate me." Whether she intends it or not, this memoir is her revenge. (Sept. 24)