Man Enough

Being manly doesn't mean being macho, declares Atlanta-based psychiatrist Pittman ( Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy ). Here he explains the ``masculine mystique'' and suggests how men can overcome their obsession with masculinity, achieving greater happiness and intimacy with members of both sexes. The first section details three kinds of men afflicted by ``masculopathy'': philanderers (who can't make or keep commitments), contenders (who feel driven to compete) and controllers. The second section explains how men become masculopathic. Through sometimes humorous anecdotes and numerous references to films, Pittman explores such areas as father/son relationships, homophobia and the striving to separate from Mother (and thus, the ``feminine''). Finally, he shows men how to shed the ``mystique'' through cooperation (as opposed to competition) and emulation (rather than envy); how to let go of the fear of women and the need to dominate them; and how to ``raise themselves'' through raising their children. A sensitive and reasonable guide for enlightened men--and those who want to be. (May)