cover image Goin' to the Chapel: Dreams of Love, Realities of Marriage

Goin' to the Chapel: Dreams of Love, Realities of Marriage

Charlotte Mayerson. Basic Books, $20 (196pp) ISBN 978-0-465-04180-0

Writer and editor Mayerson here explores the differences between ideas about what marriage will be like and the real experiences of it as described by the 100 women she interviewed for this study. Most women, she discovers, see marriage as an important part of their destinies, but, not surprisingly, few marriages proceed quite as their participants expect. Idealistic women who internalize cultural fantasies about marriage are more likely to be disappointed than those who seek fulfillment of their own particular needs and desires. Across the board, Mayerson finds, many women are frustrated with their sex lives and with juggling household responsibilities and careers. On the other hand, women in marriages both good and bad describe motherhood as an even more positive experience than they had imagined. While these findings are not particularly surprising, the frank discussions of the specific ways in which the marriages in question either failed to match or exceeded expectations are enlightening. (Aug.)