cover image Forced to Be Family: A Guide for Living with Sinister Sisters, Drama Mamas, and Infuriating In-laws

Forced to Be Family: A Guide for Living with Sinister Sisters, Drama Mamas, and Infuriating In-laws

Cheryl Dellasega, . . Wiley, $24.95 (261pp) ISBN 978-0-470-04999-0

Relationship counselor Dellasega adds to her long list of self-help books dealing with mean and troubled women (Surviving Ophelia , Girl Wars , Mean Girls Grown Up ). Chock-full of real-life, victim-oriented stories by complaining women, Dellasega's latest is based on the idea that no one can hurt a woman more than a member of her own family, especially if the aggressor is female. Dellasega, a professor in the College of Medicine and in the department of humanities and women's studies at Penn State, offers depressing tales of women betraying their sisters and mothers-in-law humiliating their sons' wives. No longer a symptom of what used to be called a “dysfunctional family,” Dellasega labels this unrest “Relative Relational Aggression” or “Relative RA.” By the end, one can't help but long for the sensible advice of the late Ann Landers. Once, when someone wrote in to her asking what to do when a family member was rude to you, Landers told her to simply say, “Excuse me?” But then where's the drama in that? (Oct.)