Secret Lovers: Affairs Happen . . . How to Cope

Linquist, San Francisco Bay area psychologist, specializes in counseling ``secret lovers'' and those whose lives they affect. Here she relates stories of extramarital affairs, discussing how they ``happen,'' offering suggestions for conducting a successful one and advice to the betrayed spouse. She maintains that an extramarital dalliance can improve a marriage, can supply a betrayed spouse the incentive to work at wooing back the straying mate. Alternately, the hurt caused by an affair may give the victim the strength to divorce and to build a new life, with self-confidence gained from enduring the experience. Believers in marital fidelity are likely to be put off by Linquist's admonition to those considering an extramarital affair that they ``need to be informed and understand what works best and what doesn't . . . people deserve to have the best experience they can.'' (May)