How Alcoholics Anonymous Failed Me: My Personal Journey to Sobriety Through Self-Empowerment

Describing herself as a rebellious adolescent raised in a privileged home in suburban Atlanta, first-time author Gilliam spent years in 12-step programs trying to combat food, alcohol and drug addiction. She claims that while A.A. helped her stop ""using,"" it fosters a childlike dependence on a system. Not only is A.A. shallow, according to Gilliam (""I could easily achieve sobriety in A.A. without ever scratching the surface of why I drank and used in the first place""), it fuels the fear and self-hatred that underlie addiction. Gilliam found her sponsor patronizing and her A.A. compatriots overly dependent on the 12-step ritual. Their testimonies, however, as well as feedback from addicts in other rehab programs, would have provided a welcome dimension to her A.A. critique, which is one-sided. In the absence of an effective treatment, the author turned to self-help, New Age and religious books to manage her recovery, and she describes in the latter part of her book how she cured herself with ""love-based healing""--a self-styled therapy that focuses on the internal cravings that caused her addictions. While Gilliam discusses concepts like moderation, forgiveness, empowerment, affirmation of positive traits and firm spiritual grounding, her assessment of A.A. seems distorted at times. Her insistence that A.A. fosters belief in an external God, ""on something outside ourselves,"" for example, simply doesn't accord with others' reports of the A.A. experience. While Gilliam's book may help some individuals, A.A.'s track record speaks for itself; and those interested in a more upbeat view of A.A. and recovery, as well as a fresh approach to recovery, would do well to check out William Alexander's Cool Water (1997). (Aug.)