cover image HOW CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT? Overcoming Personal Hang-ups So We Can Teach Kids the Right Stuff About Sex and Morality

HOW CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT? Overcoming Personal Hang-ups So We Can Teach Kids the Right Stuff About Sex and Morality

Jane DiVita Woody, . . Jossey-Bass, $17.95 (324pp) ISBN 978-0-7879-5914-2

Teaching kids about sex has always been a challenge for most parents. Woody knows from her experiences as a marriage counselor and sex therapist that what's often holding parents back is not just logistical questions of when and what to tell, but unresolved sexual issues of their own. Inhibitions, guilt or unhappy sex lives can make parents loath to bring up the topic (sometimes unconsciously) or give incomplete information. In separate chapters for mothers and fathers, Woody discusses some of the most common reasons for hang-ups and offers questionnaires that let parents assess their own attitudes toward sexual behavior and their sexual values (morality here is an individual matter). The second half of the book offers specific advice for talking to kids of different ages, explaining what kinds of questions and attitudes parents can expect at each stage (including sample minidialogues), and the important points to stress for boys vs. girls. Working out sexual issues is, of course, the task of a lifetime for many, and it's unlikely that readers will actually overcome their hang-ups from Woody's self-assessment quizzes. Nonetheless, most will probably find her questions thought provoking and her practical advice reassuring. In simply drawing parents' attention to the role their own sexual history plays in "the sex talk," Woody performs a valuable service. (Jan.)