cover image Beyond Sibling Rivalry

Beyond Sibling Rivalry

Peter Goldenthal. Henry Holt & Company, $25 (246pp) ISBN 978-0-8050-5688-4

Rather than focusing only on how to handle specific bouts between siblings, Goldenthal, a Philadelphia-area family psychologist, covers a wider scope, exploring how sibling conflict can be diminished or avoided altogether. Goldenthal explains how sibling rivalry can be exacerbated by many aspects of a child's life--problems at school, poor self-esteem, difficulties with friends, parents who compare siblings or criticize and the stress of trying to measure up to parents' expectations held over from their own childhood, to name just a few. Parents will be reassured to learn that their children can be encouraged to be empathetic toward one another and that simple tactics, such as the use of verbal praise or small rewards to reinforce positive behavior, can help waylay aggressive behavior among sibs. Goldenthal explains how and when to appropriately use rewards; without placing blame, he also reveals how parental behavior can unwittingly contribute to sibling conflict. The author looks beyond immediate who-did-what explanations to deeper connections and causes within the family. Goldenthal's suggestions on how to build healthy family relationships will be useful to parents who feel they are now at the mercy of their children's squabbles. While the writing is sometimes awkward and the text is overloaded with wordy case studies, Goldenthal's work gives clear-cut guidance for parents struggling to facilitate harmony among their children. (Feb.)