My Desperate Love Diary

Debut British author Rettig offers a hilarious tale of unrequited love written in diary form. Deadpan entries from Kelly Ann’s “Desperate Love Diary” trace her frantic attempts to snag “the most gorgeous guy in the whole school,” whom she refers to merely as “G.” But her journal contains far more. Just as tragicomic are the narrator’s musings about her mother’s midlife crisis (and fling with a 22-year-old Spanish waiter); the unexpected pregnancy of her older sister (who asks Kelly Ann to be her “primary birthing partner”); and the rantings of her spurned English teacher, who vents her fury at men—at one point, she skips a unit on Robert Burns, insisting he “was a dissolute, drunken womanizer whose poetry is completely overrated.” Kelly Ann also writes about the romances of her two best friends, Liz and Stephanie, who, unlike Kelly Ann, believe G is a “tosser and so up himself.” Kelly Ann, blinded by love, can’t see the obvious: that her longtime friend, Chris, who trumps G in class, good looks, athletic prowess and chivalry, would be a far better match. The book’s snappy narrative and litany of mishaps should keep readers in stitches, but the fun drags on a bit too long: it takes Kelly Ann nearly a year to recognize G’s numerous flaws and Chris’s many attributes. Ages 14-up. (June)