To Bed or Not to Bed: What Men Want, What Women Want, How Great Sex Happens

""A foundational premise of this book"" according to husband and wife authors Steve and Vera Bodansky (Extended Massive Orgasm and The Illustrated Guide to the Extended Massive Orgasm) is ""our belief that women are not equal to men."" It's a gimmicky way of saying men and women approach sex differently; much of the book relies on such hooks, popular in the self-help oeuvre. To wit, each chapter title has something to do with a bed-""Under the Covers"" and ""Pillow Talk Plus"" for example. And yet, the patient reader will be rewarded with some insightful observations about the cultural conditioning, desires and drives of the opposite sex. Topics include becoming a better seducer, giving without keeping score, deliberate versus default pleasure and the importance of integrity in bed. Based on information and ideas from a number of sources, but primarily through the authors' personal experiences and the experiences of people they know, the book is most successful when it veers away from the obvious (""Make eye contact when you are in conversation with a woman"") and offers practical advice and tools for establishing-and reinvigorating- intimate contact. These exercises (19 total) combined with the authors' breezy, conversational approach (they use slang where appropriate) make this guide a notable addition to the genre.