When Your Child Is Gone: Learning to Live Again

""Losing a child is one of the most emotionally intolerable experiences imaginable,'' writes Toder, a psychologist and professor who has twice experienced such anguish, first when she suffered a late-term miscarriage, then when she lost custody of her oldest child in court. This self-help guide, illuminated by case studies from the author's psychotherapy practice, offers parents a framework for understanding the grief and guilt caused by the loss of a childwhether from death, adoption, miscarriage, abortion, custody decisions or the natural leave-taking of grown children. Toder makes practical suggestions for coping and recovering which include talking to friends, putting away reminders of the lost child, pampering oneself with figurative ``chicken soup,'' and changing basic living patterns. (February)