cover image HELLO DARKNESS, MY OLD FRIEND: Embracing Anger to Heal Your Life

HELLO DARKNESS, MY OLD FRIEND: Embracing Anger to Heal Your Life

Isaac Steven Herschkopf, . . Xlibris, $19.54 (400pp) ISBN 978-1-4010-8603-9

Herschkopf, a psychiatrist at NYU and Bellevue Hospital, names Elie Wiesel, Courtney Love, Gwyneth Paltrow and Dr. Ruth Westheimer in this book's acknowledgements and dismisses self-help books as "nothing but a catchy title with a single provocative thought." He says those other books are no better than horoscope columns where invariably "you find something familiar under your sign, but if you read further, you recognize yourself under all the signs." However, his own self-help book is based on the same foundations that he criticizes in others, both in his basic thoughts about anger ("The more we understand it, the more we can begin to control it. The less we understand of it, the more to continues to control us") and his all-purpose, one-size-fits-all, five-step EXTAR (Explain, Express, Threaten, Act, Reinforce) program for effectively expressing anger. Fortunately for Herschkopf and his potential readers, the book does provide some good, basic insights into the roots of anger in such areas as family abuse and repression, and his examples of applying the approach in marriage, child-rearing and work-related situations are straightforward and helpful. He also provides numerous examples of the use or misuse of anger in books, films and various specific families, all of which provide the reader with a range of possible familiar situations that can help in understanding anger management. But a bit of judicious editing would have made this a more helpful and approachable book for the average reader interested in understanding and managing anger. (Sept.)