Are You Ready?: The Gay Man's Guide to Thriving at Midlife

Aimed at the first generation of openly gay men to hit middle age--a group in which AIDS has thinned the ranks and robbed many of a positive vision of the future--this genial handbook focuses on successful aging in a subculture that, Isensee says, idolizes youthfulness. A clinical social worker and psychotherapist, Isensee (Reclaiming Your Life) points out the positive aspects of aging--such as increased perspective, self-acceptance and tolerance for ambiguity--as well as the process by which many gay men resist and subsequently embrace the new possibilities associated with middle age. Other chapters address the physical and sexual changes of midlife and how to handle them, dating and relationship issues, grappling with one's own mortality as well as the loss of peers and parents and strategies for personal growth. In each, Isensee offers examples of specific challenges and how different men have successfully met them, illustrating each point with excerpts from 10 in-depth interviews. Additionally based on the author's work with support groups and individual patients, this guide tends to be breezy and simplistic and rests primarily on anecdotal material. As Isensee admits, it does not represent a definitive study. Until much more research is done on gay men's lives, however, his encouraging tone may entice those seeking enlightenment about aging. (Apr.)