Grandparenting in a Changing World

LeShan ( When Your Child Drives You Crazy ), a columnist for Newsday , feels that the birth of her first grandchild has changed her life ``irrevocably.'' Though ``I always assumed I'd be the same kind of grandparent as my grandparents,'' she's not, and ``neither are most of my contemporaries.'' This open-minded, open-hearted and insightful book explores what is different and what is timeless about contemporary grandparenting, and reassures those who do it without skipping over the difficulties. In ``Who Raises the Children?'' the author concedes, ``It's hard to avoid satisfying our own needs through our grandchildren,'' and observes the delicate balance between helping out and meddling. In ``Divorce'' she points out that while it's almost impossible to ``avoid taking sides'' in a marital separation, grandparents must attend to the needs of the children who stand to be wounded. On the death of a grandchild: permit ``plenty of time to feel our pain and then to celebrate, by meaningful work, the life that has been lost.'' LeShan also devotes a chapter to the hardships of growing old, and the challenge of seeking understanding from the young and ignorant. She is a reliable advisor. (Nov.)