According to psychologist Reibstein, high divorce rates don't mean people no longer want and need long-term loving relationships. "We just don't know how" to build them, she says. In a fittingly optimistic look at committed relationships that work despite the odds, Reibstein (Sexual Arrangements
) offers the words of a dozen American and British couples who've been together for at least nine years (which seems rather a short time for a study of "enduring" love) and consider themselves to be in happy partnerships. The couples, straight and gay, married and not, ranging in age from 28 to 83, explain what works for them and what doesn't. Before one couple, Marianne and Michael Jones, met, each had gone through difficult divorces, but then found in each other enough love to sustain them through the stresses of raising their children together. The author includes a chapter on sexual excitement, which can wax and wane, but endures and is an important component of these relationships. Many of the couples' points aren't revelations—the importance of arguing without rancor, expressing mutual gratitude and maintaining a sense of humor—but there are delightful nuggets to reward readers. (Feb.)
