The Perfect Stranger: The Truth About Mothers and Nannies

The rift between stay-at-home mothers and working mothers continues to be played out in the media, and Kaylin (the executive editor for Marie Claire and author of For the Love of God) deftly focuses on the women who make it possible for working mothers to continue their careers and leave the raising of the children (and the running of the household) to a stay-at-home substitute: the nanny. Part “how-to” and part “plea for absolution from the guilt... that comes with enlisting the help of a nanny,” Kaylin's primer is for women faced with finding a modern-day Mary Poppins. Kaylin speaks from her own experience and includes interviews with nannies and mothers alike (primarily in New York City), so the book abounds with anecdotes to soothe some mothers' worries while stoking the fears of others. Wage, class and race issues are all duly addressed, but the book's primary focus is the ambivalent relationship between mother and nanny, fraught with vacillating emotions of fear, mistrust, love, dependence and subtle struggles for power that rival those in any workplace. Kaylin keeps a brisk pace throughout the book, which is laced with true confessions (including what some mothers discovered through the use of a “nanny-cam,” a hidden video camera) and provides a valuable resource to any mother facing the challenge of hiring, well, herself. (June)