cover image It Doesn't Have to Be So Hard: The Secrets to Finding and Keeping Intimacy

It Doesn't Have to Be So Hard: The Secrets to Finding and Keeping Intimacy

Joanne Fedler and Graeme Friedman. Random House Australia (IPG, dist.), $19.95 trade paper (248p) ISBN 978-1-74275490-1

In this immensely helpful offering, authors Fedler (Things Without a Name) and Friedman (The Fossil Artist) address the subject of intimacy and examine how past influences can negatively affect current relationships. The authors use several composite couples (including both same-sex and heterosexual) to illustrate the evolution of intimacy. Many readers will recognize characteristics of their own flawed relationships in these hypothetical vignettes, which serves the underlying premise of the book: that the feelings and behaviors which arise are universal, but how they are solved within each relationship is unique. As the authors advise, "There is no secret or formula to intimacy. This isn't one of those paint-by-numbers books. Intimacy is freeform." While the majority of the sage advice is delivered in the context of these fictional couples, the broad principles of emotional attachment are easily transferable to any deep personal relationship %E2%80%94even the most secure of couples will benefit from reading this offering. (Apr.)