May Cause Love: An Unexpected Journey of Enlightenment After Abortion

In this brave and unsparing memoir, Underwood, a writer and lecturer, tells of getting pregnant at 19 with her drug addict quasi-boyfriend and choosing to have an abortion. She struggled for years afterward to come to terms with the consuming sense of loss she experienced as she repeatedly failed to find a support network. When her ex-boyfriend emails her on the third anniversary of the abortion—to tell her his new partner is pregnant with a girl they’re naming Jade, which is what he and Underwood would have called their child—she truly starts to unravel, tormented by her unresolved grief and memories of the procedure. Six years after her abortion, she’s finally ready to begin the healing. Underwood tries various methods to help herself, including attending a Roman Catholic retreat run by staunch pro-lifers, taking a vow of silence in the woods while quitting Zoloft cold turkey, meditation, and a Buddhist “water baby” ritual. Underwood travels through uncharted and harrowing waters at times; her story, though painful, is moving and heartfelt. She eventually creates her own “road to recovery,” and by mapping that road she hopes to provide a voice for women and men suffering in silence. (Feb.)