Desmond's Guide to Perfect Entertaining

The coauthors of That Girl and Phil return with brutally specific, itemized advice on the knack of party-giving. Among their suggestions, organized alphabetically by topic: consider computer-generating your invitations with Microsoft's Windows (``very sophisticated options''); if worst comes to worst and you discover there's a drunken sot at large in your home, either sequester him in a private room or stuff him into a cab. ``I do not recommend the use of freeze-dried instant coffees for entertaining purposes,'' sniff the authors, and ``Make sure you have enough hangers.'' They school us in caviar, propose the serving of champagne at more functions, and urge, ``Always rise above rude behavior'' in guests. Their pragmatic and occasionally entertaining prescriptions and proscriptions won't be over anyone's head, despite the fact that Desmond has done time in the most aristocratic circles. (Dec.)