A Book of Jean's Own!

The first in what is presumably a series of releases from the Onion's fictional columnists gives Jean Teasdale (Maria Schneider), a Midwestern housewife with a soft spot for chocolate, cats, stuffed animals, and exclamation points, plenty of room to expand and expound on life, work and marriage. Readers familiar with Teasdale's trademark optimism and folksy wisdom ("When life hands you a yeast infection, make BREAD!!") will find more of the same here in this collection. Whether she's shopping for bargains on snacks and corn-shaped corn cob holders at Dollar General, ghostwriting her cat's diary ("It's 3 a.m. A few minutes ago, I just coughed up a hairball the size of a snow globe on the bedroom carpet…"), or giving tips on throwing the ultimate pity party, Schneider is consistent down to the doodles that have graced many a pre-adolescent's notebooks. Schneider mostly keeps the parody above-board, keeping Teasdale sympathetic but not pathetic, and contributions from "Hubby Rick" like "Things I Have Burned" enable Schneider to expand the limited Teasdale universe. Still, a little goes a long way. Rabid fans will devour the wit, but those with a passing interest, or less, will likely be disappointed. (Oct.)