Hidden Agendas

``What is really going on, and what's happening to me?'' some ask when experiencing frustrations with romances, careers or family relationships. Using examples, checklist questions and exercises, Potash (coauthor of Cold Feet: Why Men Don't Commit ), claims that the answers can be found in ``hidden agendas'' which ``conceal, camouflage, or misrepresent feelings and emotions''--often, she affirms, in an effort to project an idealized self-image. Recognizing one's own pscyhological ``blind spots,'' she contends in this simplistic self-help guide, can explain our sometimes erroneous perceptions and unconscious expectations of others. This awareness should also spur us to make conscious attempts to alter our attitudes and automatic patterns of behavior, or even, if need be, lead us to change our circumstances--home, job, career. First serial to Good Housekeeping and New Woman; BOMC and QPB alternates; Psychotherapy and Psychology Today book clubs selections; author tour. (Oct.)