Soul Crisis

Nathanson, a San Francisco Bay Area psychologist, was 38 and the mother of three when she became pregnant again. She chose to have an abortion, followed shortly thereafter by a tubal ligation. But she was unprepared for the anguish she suffered after making what she had thought was a ``rational'' decision. Bereft of the ``awesome power'' of fertility, she felt ``empty, deformed, shriveled,'' and could take little comfort in husband, therapist or friends. Instead, she found solace, after practicing meditation and other rituals, in what she calls her ``long submerged feminine principle.'' Whether readers will follow Nathanson on her journey to ``spiritual generativity'' depends on their enthusiasm for New Age spiritualism, since the author's mysticism, however healing, can also be viewed as a rationalization of reproductive irresponsibility. (June)