Reconcilable Differences: Connecting in a Disconnected World

Markova and McArthur (coauthors of Collaborative Intelligence: Thinking with People Who Think Differently), a mother-and-daughter-in-law team of communication consultants, offer readers a thoughtful but impractically elaborate system for improving interpersonal communications. The system is based on three factors: visual (V), auditory (A), and kinesthetic (K). These factors are translated into six communication styles: VAK, VKA, KAV, KVA, AVK, and AKV. The book is divided into four parts concerned with “mind patterns,” “thinking talents,” “inquiry styles,” and “personal narratives.” Along the way, Markova and McArthur point out how apparently “irreconcilable” differences can be caused by “inattention, misunderstanding, and uncertainty.” The book includes multiple charts to illustrate how people who use different styles communicate with each other. This system may offer new insights and tips for people who are highly motivated to work through the classifications and analyses together, a process that might in itself strengthen their relationships with each other. What’s not included is how this system might improve communication with people who have no desire to apply its principles or dislike being placed into labeled boxes. By the end of this book, Markova and McArthur’s expertise in their field has been made clear, but it’s less clear that their methods hold real value for laypeople. (Sept.)