Mabel in Her Twenties

With its free association, intentional illogic and run-on sentences, this short, illustrated first novel seems long. It lacks the creative vision that can make stream of consciousness liberating rather than tiresome. It is dominated by passages like: ''When Mabel's shoes pinched they belonged to her sister, it was part of the listening to learn this.'' The plot is slight: Mabel is engaged to Hammond, but is also attracted to Harmon. Her sister Madeline is involved with a man named Hugo. When Hammond goes off to war, Mabel and Harmon have an affair, and she gives birth to a son, Harold. When Hammond returns, he stays with Mabel for a while, then leaves her for another woman. It is difficult to care about any of this, or to get a sense of any of the characters. One is primarily aware of the language, which serves to obscure rather than enlighten. Photos not seen by PW. (Apr.)