Good Friends Are Hard to Find: Help Your Child Find, Make, and Keep Friends

Parents of young social butterflies may think this book makes mountains out of molehills, but those whose children have difficulty making and keeping friends will likely find its practical, down-to-earth approach a godsend. Frankel, a psychologist, helped develop the Social Skills Training Program at UCLA, where he teaches parenting workshops on helping kids make and keep friends. Based on that program, this volume gives a helpful overview and also allows parents to locate particular problems (e.g., how to find friends; how to deal with bullies). Frankel advocates one-on-one playdates as the most effective way for children to form meaningful friendships, maintaining that organized activities like team sports aren't structured to lead to the development of close friendships. They are valuable arenas in which kids can touch base with peers, but the building of friendships is facilitated by following up with one-on-one play. Tips on hosting playdates and suggestions for avoiding frustration, boredom and conflict--the three main stumbling blocks of play time--are included. Frankel's advises that kids should rely on interactive games (jumping rope, playing catch, board games) and that parents should stay in the background during visits. He also offers concrete suggestions for organizing schedules to make time for friends and for limiting such solitary activities as video games and TV. (Dec.)