The Kind of Parent You Are: Becoming Your Best Person So Your Children Can Become Their Best Adults

Vondruska (The Optimal Life Experience), the father of two children, presents a wise and thoughtful guide to child-rearing based on his own experiences, as well as research, drawing in particular upon such experts as John Gottman, Adele Faber, and Elaine Mazlish. He walks readers through the steps of creating a parenting philosophy that includes beliefs, values, purpose, goals, and vision. Explaining that his is less a “how-to” than a “why-to” approach, the author looks closely at common practices in order to find if they accord with his value system, which he explains is centered around the “guiding belief that everyone has the potential to have a meaningful and enriching life.” For instance, Vondruska found when using “time-out” to discipline his young son that his “empathy alarm” went off (making his child feel “powerless” was inconsistent with his values). He also provides worthwhile self-reflection tools throughout, such as “Imaginary Time Travel,” which prompts readers to envision the future outcome of choices that sacrifice time with their children, and “What’s in My Mirror?” which invites readers to witness their parenting behavior from the perspective of others. This perceptive and well-researched guide will be useful to readers hoping to clarify their parenting goals and raise emotionally healthy children. (BookLife)