Bitten: Confessions of a Menopausal Vampire

Haynes’s quirky paranormal novel introduces a snarky vampire with raging hormones who never quite takes control of her life. Depressed Kristen goes to dinner with her ex-fiancé, Rick, and wakes up in the morgue. When she staggers home, she encounters Rick, who explains that he intended to drain Kristen dry but accidentally turned her into a vampire instead. To make matters worse, vampire powers manifest extra strongly in menopausal women. If Kristen doesn’t learn to control her unpredictable new powers so Rick can hide his mistake, her undead life will be very short. The story is told in Kristen’s stream-of-consciousness narration, which often falls prey to info-dumping and disjointed pacing; Kristen can be witty as she laments her situation, but readers might wish for her to take more action. Werewolves, ghosts, and riddles set up the possibility of an entertaining series once Haynes gets in gear. (BookLife)