Hollywood Rat Race

Advice on achieving silver-screen immortality from an unlikely source, this kitschy and catty portrait of Tinseltown isn't likely to win any new fans for Wood, the writer, director and producer of what is generally agreed to be the worst movie ever made, Plan 9 from Outer Space. Wood offers tips on how to be discovered in Hollywood (you won't, stay at home); how to achieve stardom (become a character actor the likes of Jonathan Hale, Jane Darnell, Addison Richards and a seemingly endless list of other Hollywood nobodies of the 1950s); how to elude the casting couch (or at least, how to distinguish, and sleep with, legitimate producers rather than ""phonies""); and how to comport oneself in debtor's court. This somewhat entertaining glimpse of Hollywood's sleazy side won't disillusion those who think of Wood as an inept writer--his work is filled with mindless clich s (""You're only as good as your last picture!"")--and numerous, even obsessive, references to fluffy white angora sweaters (true to Tim Burton's recent portrayal). The irony of Wood's authorship of this manual (unpublished until this printing) during the 1960s, one of the bleaker times in his career, will be apparent to all readers--as will Wood's understandable bitterness as he spews out unending invective against the ""phonies"" who take advantage of young, angora sweater-wearing talent. While this brief book isn't quite bad enough to rank with Woods's most distinctive creations, dedicated fans will find it a howler. (Mar.)