Disrupting the Bystander: When #metoo Happens Among Friends

Freelance journalist Flox debuts with an insightful primer on moving past the “binary of silence or punishment” to support those who have been harmed by sexual misconduct and hold accountable those who have caused harm. Drawing on research into the biological and emotional responses to trauma, Flox describes the importance of helping survivors to shift from a state of distress to a state of calm, seek shelter and stabilization in a “pod” of supportive people, and shape their responses to threats and triggers by making a safety plan, seeking therapy, calling for accountability, or involving the criminal justice system. Flox offers guidelines for practicing self-care and avoiding “burnout” when intervening in a traumatic situation, whether it’s on behalf of the victim or in an effort to “guide” the harasser to accountability. She follows Native American models of “restorative justice” in sections on standing up to a friend or loved one who has harmed another person, explaining how to maintain social bonds, rather than isolate and punish, while not dismissing the impact of their misconduct. Though Flox uses the jargon of contemporary nonviolent activism, she is careful to define her terms. Mental health professionals, victims’ rights advocates, and readers who have been subjected to or witnessed sexual harassment will find Flox’s levelheaded strategies helpful. (Oct.)