Every writer wants to believe that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." It's a feel-good phrase—who cares if an author has a crooked nose and dresses terribly? No one. That is, unless you're the author's book publicist.

In our TV-crazed industry, we publicists can't live in a dream world where beauty comes from within. The word "national" is thrown at us in every 10 a.m. marketing meeting, forcing otherwise nonjudgmental people to examine every author through a "telegenic" lens. Publicists must consider all angles of an author's media salability—and that includes good looks... or lack thereof.

Even though we might not be able to admit it in a meeting, there are some authors who just aren't cut out for prime time. Take your bestselling mystery author. When a bookseller looks at him—hair disheveled, hasn't seen a razor since college—she sees rugged authenticity. You see the Unabomber. Sales reps think your 80-year-old memoirist appears "wise." You know that on camera she's going to look like a slowly rotting corpse. And any publicist will tell you that even Maury Povich doesn't want a lazy-eyed, 300-pound relationship expert taking up two chairs on his show, even if the book is going to redefine modern marriage.

It seems cruel—like, dare I say, judging a book by its cover—but sometimes, image is everything. Yet many authors can clean up their act with some help, which is where the three Ms—Message, Media Training and Makeover— come in.

&SUBHEAD>

Message

&/SUBHEAD>

Good publicists know that identifying some newsworthy message points is crucial to getting an author on TV. After all, if there's nothing notable about the book, it shouldn't be a book. (Not that we have any control over that. Thank you, editorial.)

Once the pitching points have been determined, they're streamlined into two or three straightforward, authoritative statements. The hardest part? Making an author memorize them. The key is to get an author to sound like the president, saying the same basic things over and over, with a few variations on phrasing, so that eventually the talking points will stick.

&SUBHEAD>

Media Training

&/SUBHEAD>

Get ready to spend the best $3,000 of your publicity budget. Media training is for authors what basic training is for soldiers. Not only will a good session teach an anxious author how to keep her hands in her lap (no flailing arms on Dateline), but a professional media trainer can help an author channel her inner magnetism.

Consider Emeril, a media genius of a chef who makes up for his caterpillar eyebrows and double chin with outrageous enthusiasm and a dynamic personality. With every "Bam!," Emeril manages to reach through the screen and touch the people watching him at home in their La-Z-Boys. It's TV magic. And it's what a publicist wants to happen when an author goes live on TheTodayShow to tell Americans why they should follow his all-carb diet or read her memoir on growing up in Topeka. Emeril proves it's all in the presentation.

&SUBHEAD>

Makeover

&/SUBHEAD>

Superficial as it seems, some solid style advice can be the difference between an author winding up CNN or on What Not to Wear. And even though we aren't stylists, publicists are often the ones who have to offer some subtle style suggestions without actually criticizing an author's blue eyeshadow. The trick is to stick with general advice that applies to everyone and is guaranteed to make a world of difference. For example:

  • No one should wear red, black or white on television—only Diane Sawyer can pull off an all-white linen suit and still look like a million bucks.

  • Stripes make everyone look even wider than they already are—even skinny people.

  • Skip the bagels in the green room. They might look tempting, but no one wants a poppy seed stuck in his teeth when it's time to go on air.

Of course, just because an author has a nervous eye twitch and can't even remember the title of her book doesn't mean the end of all publicity prospects. Publicists never underestimate the power of radio interviews. The three letters "NPR" can work magic in those painful marketing meetings and are music to any author's ears. No make-up. No Weight Watchers. No cameras. Now that's a beautiful thing.