Acclaimed adult novelist Kurzweil (The Grand Complication) enters the world of children's literature with a mix of mayhem and magic. Leon lives with his mother in "the finest one-star lodgings in the city"—a seedy hotel presided over by The Ice Queen (an "ancient ice maker" whose noise keeps Leon awake at night) and guests with unusual pets ("Poop-B-Gone" is a staple with the cleaning staff). His trepidation about fourth grade at the Ethical School (where "nimble fingers make for nimble minds") escalates when he meets the formidable Miss Cronheim. In addition to supersonic hearing (her ears resemble "giant mushrooms"), his new teacher wears a scary black cape with glass eyes for fasteners and has a positively medieval outlook on education that includes training the class in sewing (success is measured in "s.p.i." or stitches per inch). Is Miss Cronheim running a sweatshop? Things take a surprising turn when the school bully douses Leon's final project (a carefully crafted likeness of Miss Cronheim herself) with spit and it comes to life, allowing Leon to control his teacher's actions in voodoo-like fashion. Kurzweil smoothly juggles several subthemes, including Leon's run-ins with his overbearing classmate. But the layers of eccentricities seem forced at times, and combined with some structural problems (the magical doll doesn't show up until the second half), the book, though amusing, never quite takes off. Ages 8-up. (Sept.)
