Emily Post's Etiquette

Looking for the user's manual that should have come with your life? This compendium of socially acceptable responses to every conceivable opportunity for personal embarrassment or inadvertent insult is as close as you're likely to get. Post, great-granddaughter-in-law to the famous Emily, carries on the family business as a recognized authority and frequently interviewed and published author. Far from quaint, her update to the 1922 classic includes sections on how to graciously discuss a potential sex partner's past and the circumstances under which one can re-gift in good conscience. These new sections seamlessly co-exist with discussions on perennially necessary topics, such as where to place a soupspoon when setting a formal table and whether one may wear white after Labor Day (the answer is yes). This integration of new material with old, according to Post, follows the same basic principles that underlay Emily Post's original version--showing respect and consideration for others while placing a premium on honesty, graciousness and deference. The original book was considered revolutionary in its time because it recast manners from rigid Victorian rules into behavior that was based on ethics, values and common sense. This latest version isn't revolutionary, but it's useful. It also serves as a reminder of how individual choices may affect others and how easy it is to choose--words, wardrobes, gifts and actions--more wisely. At 800-plus pages, cover-to-cover reading isn't intended. This is a book best referred to like a wise old aunt who would be consulted as situations warrant. Regardless of how one consumes it, every section, from ""Dining and Entertaining"" to ""You and Your Job,"" tends to leave the reader feeling a bit improved for the effort and hopeful about Post's assertion that good behavior is catching--the more it is displayed, the more it spreads.