On Intimate Terms: The Psychology of Difference in Lesbian Relationships

Complementarity is the essence of love, according to this analysis, which primarily explores lesbian relationships but examines heterosexual and gay relationships as well. Burch, a Berkeley, Calif., psychoanalyst, argues that some behavioral mechanisms both help bind people and help them grow: trying to see oneself as one's beloved sees one, for example, or projecting one's ``disowned'' impulses onto one's partner. She bases her findings on interviews with lesbian couples; she includes many eloquent quotations from these. In her view, a fundamental polarity governs lesbian relationships: the pairing of ``primary lesbians'' (those who have never had a relationship with a man) with bisexual women. She contends that differences in lesbian relationships are less apt to create conflict than in heterosexual relationships, for she believes women have a greater capacity to merge. Regardless of one's sexual orientation, there is much to learn here about the nature of love and its unconscious determinants. (Feb.)