Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships

Counselor Gaddis (The Smart Couple Quote Book) presents information from his work with the Relationship School, a consultancy for helping individuals and businesses develop stronger interpersonal relationships, about the nature and value of conflict to keep relationships healthy. Conflict is not limited to big fights and shouting matches, Gaddis writes, before exploring low-level discomforts which “are much more subtle and nuanced.” His goal is to help readers understand how to “get to zero” in conflicts—which is an understanding that resolution can only come through reconnecting with others and ourselves. Gaddis first advises readers to move from feeling like a victim to being the “author” in their own life by redirecting memories and stories one tells themselves about the past—experiences that inform how one react to others, even in situations that do not involve trauma or extreme stress. Gaddis then provides steps for managing triggers (such as breathing exercises), being a good listener, and when and how to respond to contentious people or situations. Gaddis’s solid groundwork will help anyone who fears conflict or wants their relationships to gain depth and intimacy. Agent: Jan Miller at Dupree Miller & Assoc. (Oct.)