Powerful Mate Syndrome

Wilder wrote this book after her marriage to Los Angeles Lakers star James Worthy ended in divorce. In it, she blames the break-up of their union on powerful mate syndrome, which she describes as a situation in which a person--usually a woman--experiences her mate as holding far more power in the relationship than she does. Wilder begins with her own story--she and Worthy fell in love in college, threw a lavish wedding and appeared to be a happily-ever-after couple that had it all. But deep inside, Wilder suffered because of her inferior rank in the marriage.""I enthroned [my husband] as the king of my world and, rather than doing what it took to be a powerful queen, I assumed the role as the king's subject."" Wilder goes on to share compelling stories of other people who are afflicted with powerful mate syndrome: ladies who lunch instead of finding fulfilling jobs or volunteer work, trophy wives who pay no attention to family finances and women whose husbands demand that they give up fulfilling careers to stay home and raise children. A hundred pages into her book, Wilder finally starts to offer solutions and writing exercises for women who want to reclaim power in their marriages. Unfortunately, much of the advice just scratches the surface. Suggestions such as""invest in couples counseling,""""establish your own credit history separate and apart from your spouse"" and""get a job!"" don't really address the deeper issues that are at play in a power-imbalanced marriage. After ending her marriage, Wilder earned a master's degree in clinical psychology and now works as a registered marriage and family therapy intern. She seems genuinely sincere in her desire to help readers avoid the mistakes she made, but her book would be more effective if it offered fresher, more comprehensive solutions that would resound with couples at all economic levels.