Parenting an Only Child

The title of this yuppie apologia for the one-child family is a bit misleading, since Newman ( Never Say Yes to a Stranger ) has devoted only about a third of her discussion to parenting. She argues indefatigably for one-child families and explains why smaller families are now in vogue, demonstrates that children not only do not suffer but thrive in the absence of siblings, and suggests ways to cope with pressure to have another baby. Newman's reasoning can be shaky (``If it's so painful to give up the parental `love affair' with a firstborn, why do it?'') or crude (the high incidence of divorce is grounds, she claims, to stop at one child). She furthermore addresses herself primarily to the affluent, but not only working-class parents will be angered by her assumptions (``working-class families tend to be larger and lean toward competitive team sports and group activities''). When Newman gets down to the nitty-gritty of rearing a ``singleton,'' she has some wise advice about setting boundaries, balancing parenting with other interests and not pressuring the child. (Feb.)