So Glad We Waited!: A Hand-Holding Guide for Over-35 Parents

Older mothers and fathers will appreciate this eminently wise and practical book, which fills a gap in the parenting shelf. Nachamie, who became a mother for the first time at 41 and who teaches a class for older parents at New York's 92nd Street Y, strikes a down-to-earth tone as she probes the many facets of mature parenthood, which is generally ""by preference and design"" and, as such, brings with it a heightened awareness of the entire experience. (""As a group,"" she points out, ""we are intense."") From the various roads that lead to creating a family--which for the over-35 set often includes infertility treatment and adoption--to the conflicts and compromises involved in juggling child-rearing with careers that are generally further advanced than those of younger parents, to the more nitty-gritty issues of discipline and routine, she leaves no stone unturned. Nor does she mince words, laying it on the line when it comes to such pitfalls as overindulging tots (given older parents' higher level of discretionary income and the great lengths to which they often have gone to have children). Real-life examples connect readers with other older parents who share their own joys and struggles, from dealing with the loss of prestige in the world's view (for those who choose to stay home) to the impact that parenthood has on their sex lives and relationships. More than just another how-to guide served up with clinical detachment, this book is blessed with Nachamie's voice, which is at once impassioned, opinionated, wryly humorous (""Barney and Bifocals"" is one of the chapter headings) and ultimately reassuring as she plumbs the emotional depths of this profoundly life-altering experience. (June)