Raising Your Child to Be a Mensch

Kurshan, a New York rabbi, likes to gag: in one related here, the mother of a squalling infant frantically flips the pages of a child-care manual, while her all-knowing mother says, ""Put the book down, pick up the baby.'' With such seemingly reasonable solutions is Kurshan's advice glibly dispensed. His message: to successfully raise ``nice'' children with ``values,'' parents would do best to rely on their common sense. He treats complexities unique to a variety of specific situations by disregarding out of hand the situation itselfto concerned parents of a latchkey child, for example, he counsels that at least one parent ought to be at home always whenever their school-age child is at home, even into the youngster's teens. And for these dual-career parents, he has a further admonition as well: ``No one on his death bed ever said, `I wish I had spent more time on my business.' '' Mothers who work outside the homewhether by choice or from economic necessitywould seem to be wrong-minded in Kurshan's romanticized view, which will make traditionalists praise him and the less fanciful dismiss him. Author tour. (October)