Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story

TV producer and performer Tobia, who uses the pronouns “they/them,” recounts their journey from shy, closeted gender-nonconforming kid to out-and-proud young genderqueer LGBTQ activist in this hilarious and candid memoir. Tobia thoughtfully and accessibly captures the anguish of being placed inside boxes that don’t fit—how “gender hurts us all” by creating prisons of identity, with both kids and adults policing and bullying those who fail to conform. Tobia was raised Methodist and writes perceptively on the evolution of their relationship with the church, from feeling “unequivocally and unconditionally loved” as a child (a story about coming out to a youth pastor is particularly touching) to finding it less than inclusive as a teen. Their identity was evolving during that time, too; Tobia humorously recalls the inner turmoil and sheer joy of acquiring their first pair of high heels and “strutting around in a McDonald’s parking lot.” In college, Tobia glimpsed gender freedom on a camping trip, in queer groups, and among friends, while facing down a rigidly binary, stereotype-driven gender culture on campus. While older readers may feel the book includes too much of the minutiae of college life, Tobia’s outspoken refusal to be bound by social constrictions is admirable, and their funny, sometimes raunchy voice is a charming bonus. Agent: Katherine Latshaw, Folio Literary Management. (Mar.)