Letters to Harry: A True Story of a Daughter's Love and a Mother's Final Journey

This collection of sad, tender and introspective letters written to the author's colleague and good friend spans eight months when her mother was dying from breast cancer. Graham, who lived in Oregon's Wallowa Mountains with her husband and three children while her parents lived some distance away, describes the inner conflict she felt in trying to balance her sense of responsibility to her children with her desire to attend to her parents. Graham relates how since childhood she endured her mother's fierce spells of anger, which Graham believes stemmed from the death of her own mother when she was only seven. As Graham's mother's health declined and her anger escalated, Graham coped by focusing on her mother's wonderful ability to love her unconditionally, despite passing clouds of anger. During the last months of her mother's life, Graham not only grew closer to her, but also took comfort in her father's reliability and the sense of humor that he retained even when he became ill with a blocked artery. The author came to believe that, despite her sorrow, her mother's illness and death was an opportunity for her to grow spiritually by accepting that suffering and loving sometimes go hand in hand. She involved her children in the dying process by taking them to visit their grandmother and talking through their feelings about death. Through Graham's sensitive and wise correspondence, we see a family that was pulled closer together rather than torn apart by the death of one of its members. Ad/promo. (Mar.)