Psychologist Dunnewold (The Postpartum Survival Guide
) is an expert on postpartum depression, but her latest work focuses on the long-range blues that follow when moms engage in "extreme parenting." According to Dunnewold, society's current parenting standards are "preposterous," and the result is mothers (and more than a few dads) who are driven by anxiety and self-blame. Dunnewold argues that many contemporary mothers "over perfect, over protect and over produce," running themselves ragged and judging themselves too harshly. She suggests a new parenting paradigm, in which mothers learn to let go of the quest for perfection and accept being "perfectly good." The author shows mothers how to replace internal monologues of self-criticism with positive mantras (e.g., "There are no perfect mothers") and coaches moms to aim for a realistic balance (somewhere between June and Roseanne). While Dunnewold tends to quote too heavily from other books and mainstream magazine articles, she's at her best when she coins her own conclusions: "June Cleaver never played reasoning games with Wally to increase his problem-solving skills, or arranged playdates for Beaver." With a no-nonsense approach, Dunnewold validates a mother's choice to set her own standards and be "the mother she wants to be," warts and all. (Apr.)
