The Secret Lives of Men: What Men Want You to Know About Love, Sex and Relationships

Gimmicks are mercifully absent in this revealing introduction to the male psyche that introduces romantic partners and family members to the process of male socialization (the “ten commandments of growing up male” such as “there is only one way to be a man,” “fear the feminine,” “funnel... feelings into sex or aggression”) and the entrenched cultural rules that men confront and struggle to live up to. Blazina, a male-psychology expert, is a compassionate guide. While some territory has already been mined by others, his effort serves more ably than most as a practical instrument for improving relationships with men, through unpacking the “secret shoebox,” a metaphorical place where men store their most private wishes, fantasies and pains; making enlightening suggestions for helping the notorious “Peter Pan” become an adult; and providing examples of how women—often unwittingly—“emotionally castrate” the men in their lives. “Mars” and “Venus” are nowhere in sight as Blazina embraces commonalities between the sexes in this respectful and deeply healing book. (Nov.)