The Three-Martini Family Vacation: A Field Guide to Intrepid Parenting

In her latest guide to parenting under the influence (following The Three-Martini Playdate), Mellor delivers another clever, tongue-in-cheek self-help that scoots deliciously close to the edge of offensive while delivering laughs and lessons for the beleagured mom and dad. Typical suggestions are both smarmy and smart: ""You should be running the vacuum cleaner, turning the volume up on the radio, and having a dance party when your infants are napping, so that they won't startle awake when they hear a dog barking in the next county."" She also warns of ""ornate decor made exclusively for children,"" and what exactly to expect from a babysitter: ""You will be lucky if the sitter is able to feed your child reheated pizza before putting him to bed with his clothes on."" Another sharp bit of advice: get those kids reading books as soon as possible; it'll pay dividends in countless waiting rooms, cars and airports. And addressing the topic of the day, Mellor enthuses, ""It's amazing how many ideal holiday destinations are...a ten-minute to a three-hour drive from home,"" provided ""a little flexibility in one's definition of 'ideal.' "" Further tips are set aside for plane travel, theme parks, holidays (""Santa moves in mysterious ways""), mealtimes and, of course, hosting a cocktail party (""Actually for Grown-Ups!"").