The Encouraging Parent: How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids and Start Teaching Them Confidence, Self-Discipline, and Joy

Kennedy, who conducts workshops in parenting, conflict resolution and cultural diversity, opens his book with a self-administered ""parent test"" to help parents determine for themselves what their strengths and weaknesses are--particularly with regard to how they relate to and communicate with their children. The crucial issue in how families function, Kennedy claims, is how parents--not kids--behave; those who exercise self control and exhibit emotional maturity will have the most success with their children because they themselves set examples for appropriate, respectful behavior. The author realizes that children will misbehave, but instead of using blame to admonish inappropriate behavior (he comes down on screaming, rewards, punishment, lecturing and spanking, but he is equally critical of parents who allow their children to control the family barometer), he argues that parents should employ ""preventive discipline."" His methods include communication, conflict resolution, compassionate listening, fair consequences and establishing routines. While Kennedy sometimes teeters on his soapbox, his book, on the whole, is a compassionate guide to child-rearing that employs mutual respect and encouragement as its cornerstones. (Jan.)