24 Years of House Work-- And the Place Is Still a Mess: My Life in Politics

On the first page of this book, former 12-term congresswoman Schroeder declares: ""If you want dirt, buy a tabloid."" You may not get much dirt here, but you will get clear, concise--sometimes funny--portraits of many of America's most famous politicians. Schroeder, who is now president of the Association of American Publishers, recalls being elected to Congress as a Democrat from Denver during the disastrous 1972 George McGovern presidential campaign. She found that she had to deal with Congress as a vast college dorm, with congressmen unsure of women and not very interested in learning about them. She tells of her travails there, but clearly the heart and soul of this book is her descriptions of other politicians: Richard Nixon, who wore makeup all the time (""I had an incredible urge to wash his face""); actor John Wayne, who offered her a cigarette lighter engraved with the inscription: ""Fuck communism--John Wayne"" (she declined the gift); and Phyllis Schlafly (who ""always looked like she came out of a Talbots catalogue from 1952""). Schroeder also tells how she came up with the devastating description of Ronald Reagan as the ""Teflon president"" while scrambling eggs in a teflon frying pan; her opinion of the Bush-Quayle team (""What the two had in common was their trust funds--what I call the lucky sperm club""); and reminisces about her disastrous though unintentionally hilarious speech before the Gertrude Stein Democratic Club, a gay and lesbian group (""For years, I've felt like the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dike""). On a more serious note she recalls meeting her husband while they were students at Harvard Law School, the birth of her two children and the death of twins during childbirth. She reaffirms her commitment to women's rights issues--the right to be Pro-Choice, the value of the Equal Rights Amendment--and advocates medical research on women's health. This book on how the Congress really works would be frightening if Schroeder's black humor didn't have you laughing so hard. Photos. (May)