AS I LIVE AND BREATHE: Notes of a Patient-Doctor

"The cure for the fear of dying is living," states the author of this eloquent, thoughtful memoir. Weisman, a resident at Emory University Hospital, should know: she has a rare congenital immune deficiency. Weisman suffered through years of painful infections and operations until her condition was controlled—but not cured—by monthly infusions of gamma globulin and self-injections of interferon several times a week. The personal experience with illness inspired Weisman to go to medical school (her father is also a doctor), and with a novelist's eye for detail and an ear for dialogue, she provides a vivid account of how she copes with her condition and also practices medicine. At the age of 25, her face was severely distorted from repeated infections of the parotid gland, near the ear. A gifted and caring physician surgically removed this disfiguring facial mass. In a moving passage, Weisman describes how she later encountered her healer when he was dying from a brain tumor. The author is particularly good at conveying the powerlessness of the medical profession over the unpredictability of illness. Included is a haunting anecdote about Patsy, a young woman successfully recovering from a bone marrow transplant. The two had become friendly as patients when both were receiving infusions. The next time they met, Patsy was near death from a recurrence of leukemia, and Weisman was her intern. Aware that she could have easily been in Patsy's place, the author has elected to embrace life fully. (June)